The superhero powers every teacher has

It’s no secret that being a teacher automatically makes you a superhero; what else could possibly explain the platinum strength of your bladder?

The demands of today’s classroom have never been more like a battlefield of explosive behaviour, surprise bombs and excuse-dodging meaning that we as educators have to step up our game faces with what little resources we have in defence.

You are a tireless multi-tasker, risk-taker, problem-solver whose decisions impact our students, parents, communities on a day to day basis. Despite our best efforts, none of us, nor any of our colleagues are going to morph into the Avengers pose.

No, we are the heroes without glorious capes swaying in the wind, without star-studded boots or a weighty axe and instead, we power through the daily bombshells with hidden superpowers that still prevail through the sheer amount of coffee pumping through out veins.

If you are in need of some recharging after a bleak day at school, this is a reminder to you that you are stronger than your biceps may reveal, more resilient than your eye ducts suggest and are a teacher of superhero stealth!

Titanium fearlessness

Teachers are f-e-a-r-l-e-s-s. Ok, maybe not entirely. Oftsed inspections are pretty damn terrifying and the thought of glitter in the classroom causes a few grey hairs but apart from that, our patience is solid like a rock (Just).

We’ve all had host of insults thrown our way, a student who has wrecked our beautifully crafted display and a student that has sneezed in our face. And that’s not mentioning the level of sass we deal with on the daily.

And yet, despite the blood, sweat and tears (…not just the students’), over 60 million of us still walk up to the school gates each day and make a difference to our students’ lives.

Lie-detector bloodhound noses

Without bragging, you could say that we’re up there with the FBI in our abilities to smell deception from a mile away. Bionic noses and x-ray vision gives us the ability to see through any excuse or avoidance in the classroom and reveal the truth from our students. Our eyes and noses see and smell everything!

Multi-tasking at lightning speed

One wouldn’t be wrong to say that teachers have the unbeatable power of shape-shifting teleportation. One minute they’re grading papers, the next they’re on lunch duty blowing whistles and scouring the fields. Then they are seen calming a kerfuffle in the hallway followed by a sighting in the staffroom scoffing biscuits. If we aren’t teleporting then we’re certainly getting those daily steps in!

Bladders of steel

Not so much of a superpower than it is a renowned fact. Just like in the classroom, teachers are in charge of their bladders and have the power to control what happens. If a bathroom break isn’t in the schedule then that involuntary muscle ain’t doing nothin’!

Sophisticated nose filters

Schools are a hothouse for all the germs, all the bugs and all the smells both wonderful and rancid. Student thrown up? Totally cool. Student unleashed a hothouse fart of their own? Not bothered. Student not acquainted with dental hygiene? Not a flinch, mate. How about a fresh tub of choc biscuits in the staffroom? Been there, chowed down already. Thank you, next.

Bat-like hearing

It may be an old-school cliché but it’s true when they say ‘Teachers hear EVERYTHING’. Yes, everyone can hear that one student at the front who speaks just a little louder than audibly comfortable but the teacher, oh they can most definitely hear you in the corner muttering under your breath about Towie’s latest news.