The inevitable truths of being a teacher

There are some things that are just inevitable when it comes to being a teacher; lifestyle truths that simply come hand-in-hand with the teaching profession.

With the printer jamming more often than you get breaks, patience becoming less of a virtue and more of a requirement and owning more red pens than you do shoes, here are a few teacher truths that may hit home stronger than you’d like them to! 

1. 
The amount of pride you get from fixing the copier is equivalent to that of getting an A on a report card. 

2. 
On the other hand, not being able to fix the copier makes you want to kick it back into touch with the underside of your foot and an explosion of profanities, no matter what student may be watching.

3. 
The complexity of your hairstyle has steadily decreased as the stress of term and grading has ramped up.

4.
You wake up to an array of texts sent the previous night at 9:31 PM – don’t they know you’re well into your REM cycle by then?

5.
Your vocabulary outside of the school gates has become interlaced with a swear word every two words simply because you’ve been withholding them for far too many hours and because you bloody. well. can.

6.
You have the numbers of Deliveroo and UberEats memorised better than your siblings birthdays and the local delivery guy converses with you on a first name-basis.

7.
Nobody smiles into their lap so you’ve become skilled in pinpointing the students who most definitely aren’t reading a book and those discussing the latest antics of Love Island.

8.
You’ve perfected the poker face, eye-brow slant and pursed lips stare of death so well that you often find yourself doing it in your local Tesco aisles when you see your staple favourites up in price. 

9.
Whilst it’s no surprise to the amount of students rocking up without their homework, the level of creativity in their excuses as to why never fails to seriously impress you. 

10.
Your eagle eyes are so used to spotting grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and errors that you find yourself scanning and circling the morning newspaper and magazines with a red pen in hand before your realise it.